Realising the truth

Mostly i make new post when i m sad...in earlier posts also,i wrote about the bad things related to my life...today also i m not good...lot of things are going through my mind...'where wll be i m after one year...will i get placed...'etc...i m sure i will be placed if i do the problems which is usually asked by the companies...but i m not did that...the main problem in my mind today is that my digital electronics mark in S4 is not improved...today the result came...when i saw the mark,i felt sad since i expect gud mark for the improvement...i did the exam somewhat gud...i think this as my bad luck...what else to say...now i have study leave for the 6th sem exam...when i have been utilizing this study leave properly after one of my frnd's advise,the result of the improvement published and i saw this today afternoon...after that also, i tried to study, thinking that past is past...no need to worry abt that and i didn't get anything if i m in tension by thinking that,but there will be loss by thinking past...main problem is that now i have only 70.6% aggregate and i want to maintain this till S8...so i need to score more than 70% in the coming semesters...i will get it...in S5 since i have only 68%,i regretted of my carelessness in studies and decided to be gud in studies...bad results in studies not only affected me...it affect my family also...i know it...i know all the things...but...i m now fighting with S6 portions...lot to study...vast syllabus...each line in the syllabus is an essay...minimum 1hr will take to study each essay...so much portions for each subject...only 10 days more...don't know what to do...but i need to score a gud %...now i m only thinking about my studies and placements...so i expect i can do well...i can achieve all...whether or not...all depends on God's grace...my parents expect a lot from me...not money or such things...they are sure i will placed in a gud company...they don't know my carelessness in studies...tney believe that i will score gud in coming semesters even if my result is not gud in the last sem...when the result of last sem came,my father asked me to do well in the coming semesters and he didn't say anything which hurt me...so i want to keep their trust in me...finally i realised that i will not reach anywhere if i gone like this...so decided to make some changes...now studies are going in a smooth way and pray to god to help me and save me always...